Tired vs. Tired

Photo (C) M. Pruitt 2007
Costume copyright belongs to Columbia Dance

Tired... Fatigued...Exhaustion...weariness...

These are words that are grouped together in my thesaurus... but do they really define how we feel?

I know that I am fatigued - more so than at other times... but I hadn't thought a whole lot about how it differed from fatigue I experienced before I was sick.

It struck me this week though - how different it is. Bill and Ellen got home from the first late night of Tech Rehearsals for Nutcracker. Both of them were exhausted - fatigued - very very tired. As we flopped into bed - I suddenly remembered that tired the feeling.

I probably experienced it the most that year that I was Mrs. Walbridge (Clara's mother) and Ellen was Clara. Not only did we stand and work and dance and rehearse for 7-8 hours straight, there was the 1/2 hour drive home and then we had to get Ellen's very straight hair, gelled and rolled for the next day of Clara curls. That week, I would flop into bed exhausted, and I awoke exhausted and did it all over again.

But as Bill and I went to bed this week - I realized my tiredness is different. It's hard to describe - but it feels really different to be fatigued, but not from activity. There's a flu like component. When I awaken, I feel sick - like I've stayed up at an all night party. It's a really different "tired" and I wish I could come up with a different word for it!

Last night, at Ellen's Dress Rehearsal for Spanish, we found out that the Mouse King might not make it to the School shows today (they perform for school children). They needed a stand in and I seriously considered doing it.

I came home and watched the video, tried some of the movements to make sure I wouldn't hurt myself and planned how I could pull it off. It's only a minute and half on stage... a sword fight with the Nutcracker. But dancer call was 7:30AM. I figured I could do it with a huge push and lots of one day meds.

But then, as I went to bed... I began to think about the whole week. Yes, I could probably pull it off... but at what expense? Most likely, at the expense of the rest of the week. Did I want to sacrifice the whole weekend of Nutcracker for one 1.5 min part on stage?

Well, if you've read my last couple of blogs, you know how much joy I'm experiencing, in watching Ellen dance. I decided it wasn't worth it. In the days before illness, I could push and be tired. Now, I can push, but then I've got nothing for days. That's a different kind of tired!!!

On a positive note... I am so glad that I can still push and do special things - even when they do cost me!!! But for this week - my push is a slow and steady one... trying to get myself to the Theater as much as possible to watch my beautiful daughter. I stayed home this morning - but I'm planning on watching Cast B (Ellen is Doll) dress rehearsal tonight!

I hope these blogs have done just a little to bring you all with me to the theater, because I love Nutcracker time. I am so blessed to have such a talented daughter who loves me and includes me in her joy of dance. And I am blessed to be able to get out of bed and watch rehearsals, and give input on the staging, and take pictures to store these memories.

I'll close with a big THANK YOU! Thank you to God, thank you to Ellen, and thank you to Jan!

Nutcracker Week

Nutcracker Week is here!

Saturday and Sunday were complete run-through's in costume at the Studio, while, at the same time, a crew of volunteers were loading everything into the theater.

I had hoped to attend rehearsal on Sunday. Bill was scheduled to oversee the load-in crew. I awoke and didn't feel very good at all. But with the help of a few medications, I decided to go. I'm so glad I did.

I have special permission to sit by the mirrors and watch the whole rehearsal. I even gave some opinions on costuming, took a few notes for the Director and chatted with one of the little dancers who sat next to me. I also sketched and hope to do some paintings of the dancers soon.

I was very worn out about an hour before we could leave - but I had a wonderful time! Most of all, I enjoyed being with Ellen!

The pictures I've shared in this blog are Ellen and one of her friends, Leah, in their "Doll" costumes. They love to laugh and this old fashioned hand game is one they do in their "Doll Box" (in the dark) before they are let out to dance! :-)



Tonight is what they call a "Tech rehearsal". They are the longest, most trying rehearsals for everyone involved! I stayed home with Chris tonight. We did a bit of Christmas baking. He made the most delicious Apple Cranberry pie and I made Orange Cranberry Bread. Yum!

Bill and Ellen will be home very late. Tomorrow is another Tech rehearsal - one for each of the two casts. I won't go to that either.

But Wed and Thurs are Dress Rehearsal's and I hope to go to both. They are not open to the public at all, but once again, I have special permission to be there, and even have a special spot sitting next to the Director during these rehearsals too. Jan is a good friend and so sweet to include me as much as she does. I can't wait!

Thanks for letting me share my joy of watching and experiencing Ellen's gift of Dance! Isn't she a cutie?

Costumes are copyrighted to Columbia Dance
No copies of the images or costumes are allowed.
Thank you.

The Nutcracker is Coming!

This past weekend I had the great pleasure of attending a few hours of rehearsal for Columbia Dance 's "The Nutcracker"

Jan Hurst, the Artistic Director, and I have been friends for many years. This is the studio that Ellen has danced at since she was in Kindergarten - in fact, Jan was her pre-ballet teacher!

Ellen has dreamed, for several years now, of dancing the part of "Spanish". Jan loves to give her Seniors their dream parts, if she can, and this year, Ellen is dancing Spanish, Doll, Snow and Waltz Core!

Sunday, was a full run through of ACT II - this is the Act with with all the variations including Waltz. Bill is working most of the week as Stage Manager, so we went together. He ran through is light and dancer cues, while I watched, sketched dancers and took lots of reference photos. Below is a picture I took while they were rehearsing the closing.



They aren't in costume, though, the dancers who will be wearing tutu's have rehearsal tutu's on. The funny little colored crowns you see is their way of identifying who is who - though the two Spanish dancers have their fans so Ellen gets away with not wearing a funny crown LOL!

I really miss being in this production. But pray with me that I'll have the strength and stamina to attend some of the rehearsals and performances during the week they are in the Theater! I have several favorite spots to watch from the wings. And I like to see the dress rehearsals from the auditorium. I know I may have my sites set a bit too high... I'm trying not to set myself up for disappointment.

The last two days have been very poor, health wise. I might have a cold... it's often hard to tell if I am really sick or just POTS sick. Being well enough to go to tech week and performances means the world to me!

I can't wait to see Ellen on stage with her bright red Spanish tutu. It's a short dance - but one with LOTS of spunk... just perfect for her - I know she'll be hamming it up!

If you live near us and want to come to The Nutcracker this year - the shows are Friday Dec. 21 - Sun Dec 23. Times are: Friday 7:00pm, Sat 2:00pm and 7:00pm and Sun 1:00pm and 5:00pm.

If you want to see Ellen's parts - she dances Spanish, Snow and Waltz on Friday, Saturday Matinée she dances all her parts!!! Saturday eve is Doll, Snow and Waltz core, Sunday matinées is only Snow and Waltz core and Sunday at 5:00 is Spanish, Snow and Waltz core... Got all that??

Tickets to the Matinées often sell out so you might want to purchase them ahead of time. Tickets are being sold in Camas at "My Nana's Cottage/Francieso" on 4th street, and are also available at Beacock's Music and at the Studio - 3101 Main Street, Vancouver. The phone number is 360-737-1922 if you want to put tickets into Will Call.

Ooooo - I'm so excited... I LOVE Nutcracker time and I LOVE Christmas!!!