My Hope

I want to blog - I want to keep in touch. But my brain is empty. What should I say?

The quote above says it all....

Laura Hildebrand wrote Seabiscuit during the deepest fatigue just like I now experience. She says some days it was all she could do to write one single paragraph in a day.

I know that feeling.

This is the quote I have on my desktop right now, that I read to myself several times a day - reminding me of the truth - my reason for pressing on!

"God delights,
not in the strength of the horse,
nor is his pleasure in the legs of a man.
But the Lord delights in those who fear Him,
and in those who hope in His steadfast love."

Psalm 147:10-11

In the midst of nuclear bomb sized fatigue, pain and sadness... I DO hope... I cling to the steadfast love of God! And I know in return, no matter what I do or don't get done today, He delights in me!

What a beautifully comforting reminder that is!

Somewhere Over The Rainbow....

***You might want to click on the third song of my musical journey for this post***



I awoke to a beautiful summer day! (except the loud trucks outside putting in a new water line LOL). I do hope to spend some time sitting outside on my lounge chair today (thank you for the idea April!)

You know, hope in God is a mysterious and wonderful thing. If we are quiet - don't try to fight our own battles - hope and trust in his plan and timing... amazing things can happen.

SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW... SKIES ARE BLUE

Because it involves other people's lives and careers, I don't feel at liberty to share my whole story about this past week with you all. But God heard my cries and he was faithful and held me firmly in his grasp. He is my rock.

Yesterday, while my energy lasts, my daughter Ellen and I decided to take an outing together. We went to Kohl's (didn't see you there Gina LOL).

(I actually have quite a bit of energy right now... mostly I think because I was given a high volume of IV saline and potassium all week, which increases my blood volume for a short time)

But just as we began shopping, my cell rang. It was my PCP - my favorite doctor in the world. (I've seen her for 18 years... she birthed 2 of my children and literally saved my life in the second birth) I told her only the top layer of what had happened. She was appalled. She began making calls and is quickly looking into the mistakes, the accusations and she clarified many things for me which has helped my emotional pain immensely.

I do feel badly now, as I know at least one person is going to be in a lot of trouble. I know... I was the mistreated one... but somehow I can't help feeling sorry for the one who was at fault.

My outing yesterday was so therapeutic and fun! I have only been able to wear soft stretchy sweat pants because all of my regular jeans and pants button over the spot that is very painful in my stomach - which flares up a full day of pain. So Ellen helped me find some "stylish" jeans... low rise and flare at the bottom... she's my style expert. She bought summer clothes and then we topped it off with a Frappucino at Starbuck's. We sat outside and talked and I let the sun and cool fresh air revive me.

Proverbs says "Raise up a child in the way he should go, and he will never stray from it."

I must say in this post that I am so very proud of Ellen. She has become such a beautiful woman of God - so encouraging and supportive and fun to be with. And... as she knows... she was not an easy child to raise! LOL! But her love for Jesus has brought her to a place in life where His light shines through her eyes, through her actions and her very presence. Her willingness to shop with and spend time with her old mom was such a gift - through Ellen, from God.

SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW....

Sometimes we dream about life being different than it is. But really, the other side of the rainbow is right here, because God is right here!

As a closing, as I've been thinking about rainbows... I wanted to share with you my most recent Stretched Canvas painting. It took me hours and hours to paint... but the bright colors were like God's finger prints to me - every time I picked it up to work on it! The front view is up at the top... but here's how it looks from the side.






Thank you for all your prayers and support!

xox,
Melanie