Home Again

I am HOME!!!

The Gi doc decided to do a different procedure on Saturday - an MRI type thing that checks for stones.

It came back negative so no ERCP. And I was quickly - with no doctor consultation or explanation, dismissed from the hospital.

I have always been so proud of my hospital and doctors because they have never considered my Parial Dysautonomia as mental or drug seeking or anything negative that many others with my illness seem to expereince.

Well, this time was different.

Though I did my best to explain my situation to all three doctors I saw, and every nurse, somehow, I was not heard.

Strange and hurtful responses by doctors, nurses and botched tests filled my last days at the hospital.

This is probably the deepest hurt and disappointment I've felt in a long time... but the two strings holding me up right now are my family - who love me and keep my mind off it and second is my hope in God.

As I was driving home, I was thinking to myself that I have never felt so squashed and defeated and hopeless... but as I thought the word hopeless, my eyes caught the sun, breaking through the clouds, forming the most beautiful sunlight streaming down, and I remember that my hope is not in people (doctors and hospitals) but in God. It was like He was hearing my thoughts and reaching down to remind me of the truth.

"Set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is reavealed"
I Peter 1:13b

So I'm lifting my broken heart up to Him... stressing my ANS by crying... and very slowly processing all that was said to me and assumed about me without really knowing me, my diagnosis, or the reasoning behind my treatments.

My physical pain is better for the most part. It is beleived that the stone I had in the bile duct passed, and hopefully there will not be another one any time soon!

Thank you all for your prayers.